Avoid Personal Injury this Thanksgiving

Three safety tips below are short and sweet.

Grease Fires Burn. Don’t fry your turkey.  Seriously this time.  Just put it in the oven and boom same turkey and more eyebrows.  Think about it.  When you cook fries in grease, the ice or water on the fries pops as it goes into the host grease.  Sometimes these pops of grease hit the burner.  Now, instead of fries and two cups of grease, consider thirty gallons of grease and a thirty pound frozen and wet solid peace of bird. 

Also, for the outdoor cookers use a propane tank and open flame—not a burner.  For those of you who refuse to believe the news stories and continue to fry the turkey indoors—I have no advice, but can say that my thoughts will be with you.

Walk Away. Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends.  A chance to visit with the loved ones that we don’t get to see often.  And on top of that, the opportunity for team building exercises in an effort to prepare the meal that will be finished in under an hour.  Forty or so people with different management styles and work ethics working collaboratively with one another in a 20’ by 20’ kitchen with one stove, one sink, one trashcan on nearly eighty different assignments. 

Finally, we’re on the home stretch and the oven is left to do the rest.  The matriarch character of the bunch will insist that everyone “get outta here” and “go catch up, I’ll get these dishes.” This is the perfect opportunity to address why cousin Billy didn’t flowers or a visit from anyone while he was in the hospital.  Surely, the decision to home-school little Jennie will be addressed—always by the teacher or child psychologist in the bunch.  Lastly, a report on Uncle Jim’s improvement that Sharon heard down at the courthouse when she saw his probation officer.  Note to self—just walk outside.  No need to get upset and act out—remember, “[we] were just trying to make sure you’re okay.”

Animal Control at Thanksgiving Can Be a Tear Jerker.  If you’re having folks over to your house this Thanksgiving you accepted a great responsibility that will probably be repaid at most by an offer to get your more casserole.  Nonetheless, your selfless offer means that you need to check the house for anything that could injure someone.  This seems to arise most often for dog owners who allow their dogs to eat table food.  Understand that your guests may not be familiar with the feeding norms and customs at your place. 

Most likely if you have a lot of dogs who run the place anyway, one of the characters listed in number two above will demand that lock the dogs up.  That may be best, for a number of reasons.  The dogs could get restless and start causing problems.  Children could be an easy target for dogs.  The little kids…The ones that we give a slice of ham and point him towards his cousins outside to hear the end of how Kyle proposed to Jessica.  The kid won’t let the ham go and the dog wants the ham.  This could be a situation where you should consider two more place settings for the animal control folks to relax and enjoy Thanksgiving as they fill out the quarantine paperwork.